Sleep early
Work in the morning
Bank after work
UUUUUGHHHHH
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Birthday
It was quite the eve of my birthday. I wonder how many people feel a great depression just hours before they turn 20? I guess it may be for different reasons, but its just awful.
It was a fun night, hanging with two awesome people that are in my life. I love them both incredibly. Had a little bit of drinky drinky, some nachos, and some cookie n' creame cake, which the frosting is very sweet making me want to go out now and buy milk, but I'm too tired for that.
I don't know whether its my energy level, or depression, but I feel a bit disconnected from everything. Yes, I was a bit tipsy earlier, but I had enough to eat and drink to think clearly. Just right now, I feel that I'm no longer connected to myself, that I feel like I'm no living. That I'm making a mess of myself and all I can do is watch.
I've done awful things, unintentionally. I'm an idiot that can't seem to understand how people feel. An insensitive idiot, that pretty much sums it up.
I wonder what good I've done or what good I've been these past 20 years. 2 decades, amazing. Do my good deeds out-weigh my bad ones?
It sucks feeling down on your birthday, but its stupid since there are places out there that do not even celebrate their date of birth. I sort of wish I had a large group of friends hanging out and laughing out loud, just as loud as the people across my apartment complex. Such a pessimistic view. I should just pass out and stop thinking, that might be best.
Good night.
It was a fun night, hanging with two awesome people that are in my life. I love them both incredibly. Had a little bit of drinky drinky, some nachos, and some cookie n' creame cake, which the frosting is very sweet making me want to go out now and buy milk, but I'm too tired for that.
I don't know whether its my energy level, or depression, but I feel a bit disconnected from everything. Yes, I was a bit tipsy earlier, but I had enough to eat and drink to think clearly. Just right now, I feel that I'm no longer connected to myself, that I feel like I'm no living. That I'm making a mess of myself and all I can do is watch.
I've done awful things, unintentionally. I'm an idiot that can't seem to understand how people feel. An insensitive idiot, that pretty much sums it up.
I wonder what good I've done or what good I've been these past 20 years. 2 decades, amazing. Do my good deeds out-weigh my bad ones?
It sucks feeling down on your birthday, but its stupid since there are places out there that do not even celebrate their date of birth. I sort of wish I had a large group of friends hanging out and laughing out loud, just as loud as the people across my apartment complex. Such a pessimistic view. I should just pass out and stop thinking, that might be best.
Good night.
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