Where's My Reset Button?

Today started out to be a good day, but I guess events from the days before and a whole bunch of other things that have been piling on have just gotten to me.
Trying to take a nap in my own apartment is impossible.
- Stupid dumpster trucks and loud people outside as well as the occasional car bumping loud beats.
Another thing that has been irritating me quite a lot ever since I decided to move here was the fact that the internet keeps on getting slow, way too slow for my taste. I'm not paying $35 a month for shit internet. I just don't understand what's going on.
My life... is good, but I find it lacking quality that I expect for what's being given.
In my gut and in my heard I just want to jump out of my window. So then maybe something might break this mundane life of mine.
I find myself in a gloomy state every day. I don't know what makes me happy.
I don't know if I can be happy anymore. When I'm happy I'm ridiculed by it, I'm annoying, and obnoxious. So what is there left for me to become if I can't be happy?
I wish I could... I don't know. I don't know what I even want to wish for anymore.
No one listens, no one understands.
I guess what I want to do is scream out loud and just sleep forever. I think that's what will make me happy, is if I can sleep forever. Sleeping so far has been the only thing that makes me happy anymore.
Seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? My personality and thought process is so messed up. What have I gone through to end up the way I am?
Can I just trade lives for a few weeks with someone else? Although, we all know how stories like that end, I'll end up regretting the change and want to go back to my old life.
I just want to leave it all.


















I give up... but I don't know how to give up. That's my problem, or I guess that's a problem for many of us.












I tried the facial-expression theory many times this week. Worked briefly, but I'll end up finding myself in a gloomy mood soon after.

Tired... don't want to type anymore.