I find myself thinking about the same thing. When I wake up, I wonder, "what is _____ up to right now? Is _____ awake? I hope _____ slept well." Before I go to sleep, I wonder, "I hope ____ not tossing and turning. I hope _____ had a good day."
Dunno, just being random right now.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Life's A Drag
Nothing but a sequence of mundane events that repeats day to day. A regimented schedule to keep us busy as bee's and as miserable as a vagabond under the sweltering heat. Rarely are do our infinite loops become disturbed by radical events that may change our lives dramatically, or just make us happy for an incredibly short amount of time. I wish my infinite loop can be disturbed. Although, I guess I should be able to halt this flow of what seems to be an endless cycle of me ending up miserable. Who knows what the future holds? Supposedly we do, since our lives are cycles that are rarely interrupted. So, if you look into it not so hard, you can see the future. Hell, just look in your planner (that is if you have one).
Life... the never ending cycle that is finite. I wrote a paper on the meaning of life, where I received a 95/100 for my grade. I was quite pleased, but after that moment that had interrupted my mundane cycle, I found myself walking to my office and wearing the same old name tag that I've been wearing for the past 1 and half years... troubleshooting the same old problems, delivering the same old equipment, receiving complaints from the same old incompetent technology users. I can't help say what every one else is saying, "I can't wait for summer." Just a couple of more weeks, and my cycle will change into something a bit... less depressive, one that allows for more freedom and flexibility. I wonder, when will I finally be able to breathe?
As I stare at the wall in front of me, I see the light of the setting sun casting its glow from behind. Its slowly beginning to dim and lose its orange warmth, I feel in a few seconds the glow will vanish, and I left cold and alone once more.
Hard day at work I tell ya... nothing but running around and helping people out with technology. I guess my bosses and co-workers are happy that I'm one of the few mac users here, otherwise meets with people who own macs would be troublesome. Just saying, I'm quite a valuable resource here at ITCS. Don't get me wrong, I can be almost as incompetent as the next guy, but experience is all that counts, and also a little know how around everything.
Currently, I hunger. Watching the clock wind down until my shift is over and I can drag myself back to my room and microwave a couple of hotdogs and lay them on a cold bed of rice that was made a few hours earlier. Life is grand, or I suppose I should keep to the title of this blog and say, "Life's a drag."
Farewell to you all who actually read my blogs, I hope they have entertained you for the past couple of months. I shall continue writing for as along as I have the need to. But for now, I am weary... famished... and most of all, lonely.
- See you Space Cowboy
Life... the never ending cycle that is finite. I wrote a paper on the meaning of life, where I received a 95/100 for my grade. I was quite pleased, but after that moment that had interrupted my mundane cycle, I found myself walking to my office and wearing the same old name tag that I've been wearing for the past 1 and half years... troubleshooting the same old problems, delivering the same old equipment, receiving complaints from the same old incompetent technology users. I can't help say what every one else is saying, "I can't wait for summer." Just a couple of more weeks, and my cycle will change into something a bit... less depressive, one that allows for more freedom and flexibility. I wonder, when will I finally be able to breathe?
As I stare at the wall in front of me, I see the light of the setting sun casting its glow from behind. Its slowly beginning to dim and lose its orange warmth, I feel in a few seconds the glow will vanish, and I left cold and alone once more.
Hard day at work I tell ya... nothing but running around and helping people out with technology. I guess my bosses and co-workers are happy that I'm one of the few mac users here, otherwise meets with people who own macs would be troublesome. Just saying, I'm quite a valuable resource here at ITCS. Don't get me wrong, I can be almost as incompetent as the next guy, but experience is all that counts, and also a little know how around everything.
Currently, I hunger. Watching the clock wind down until my shift is over and I can drag myself back to my room and microwave a couple of hotdogs and lay them on a cold bed of rice that was made a few hours earlier. Life is grand, or I suppose I should keep to the title of this blog and say, "Life's a drag."
Farewell to you all who actually read my blogs, I hope they have entertained you for the past couple of months. I shall continue writing for as along as I have the need to. But for now, I am weary... famished... and most of all, lonely.
- See you Space Cowboy
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Just A Thought
If I told you one more time that I loved you... how would you react?
What would you say?
Is it futile to try anymore?
What glimmer of hope I have may have diminished its light. I'm sorry for what I've done, being human I can't be perfect. All I can do is try harder next time. I'll try not to fail any more.
Please be happy, I hope you can be happy. Be happy, despite what I may feel. Find your happiness.
I'd hope it could potentially be with me, but that's impossible. I guess we're just incompatible, or I just can't make you happy. Whatever may be the case, let me still be part of your life.
Sorry... feel better... good night... sweet dreams.....
What would you say?
Is it futile to try anymore?
What glimmer of hope I have may have diminished its light. I'm sorry for what I've done, being human I can't be perfect. All I can do is try harder next time. I'll try not to fail any more.
Please be happy, I hope you can be happy. Be happy, despite what I may feel. Find your happiness.
I'd hope it could potentially be with me, but that's impossible. I guess we're just incompatible, or I just can't make you happy. Whatever may be the case, let me still be part of your life.
Sorry... feel better... good night... sweet dreams.....
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Pathetic
That's probably how some people think of me. They would be right in that assumption. All I do is push them away with my self-pity. I guess that's pretty much the only accomplishment I have. I don't know... Sorry. I'll just stop everything, live life as a zombie. Fake all emotions to make it seem that I'm ok. I wish I could rid myself of human emotion.
Good Day
Despite it being a bit slow and confused with plans, today turned out quite good. Had some good times playing LBP, watching some movies, then finally heading over to Alki Beach to soak up some sun and throw a little bit of frisbee. Along with trying to not let a stick fall while digging the sand around it, and being buried semi-knee-deep in sand while small asian girls take pictures next to to make the "illusion" that they are taller.
Afterwards, had a photoshoot with a beautiful setting sun as the background. I always love taking pictures with the sun going down, its always beautiful and I find something very comforting from it. Coming back, with dirty feet from the sand, had a little group shower, 3 pairs of feet in a small shower trying to wash away the dirt from our play at the beach, all the while laughter and screams from asian girls echoing throughout my dorm room. I wonder what my roommate thought in the other side. haha. After being semi-clean, we made our way to the room with a large TV to watch "Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind". When all was done we said our goodbyes near Carmen's jizzed up parking spot.
Today was good, just another hangout with friends, can't ask for anything better.
Afterwards, had a photoshoot with a beautiful setting sun as the background. I always love taking pictures with the sun going down, its always beautiful and I find something very comforting from it. Coming back, with dirty feet from the sand, had a little group shower, 3 pairs of feet in a small shower trying to wash away the dirt from our play at the beach, all the while laughter and screams from asian girls echoing throughout my dorm room. I wonder what my roommate thought in the other side. haha. After being semi-clean, we made our way to the room with a large TV to watch "Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind". When all was done we said our goodbyes near Carmen's jizzed up parking spot.
Today was good, just another hangout with friends, can't ask for anything better.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Realization
Reason is... its something that I will never have. I will never experience it. I'll always just be by myself. Whatever. I just wish I could change it.
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